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| Dad and the Bride |
Good evening. For those of you who haven’t met me yet, I am Joe, the bride’s father. You are each here because you touched Will and/or Faith in a very special way, and I would like to welcome you and thank you for coming.
Not everyone who wanted to be here could make it tonight. Most of my extended family is stuck on the East Coast after testing positive for COVID. So, for those watching or reading this afterward—we miss you, love you, and look forward to a time when we can be with you again.
This has certainly been a heck of a couple of years, and although this is my second pandemic wedding, being together still doesn’t feel completely normal…
Preamble aside, if you are enjoying yourself, I’d like you to know that I have had nothing to do with tonight (well, almost nothing).
Really, I want to thank and acknowledge Faith’s Mom, Amy, her husband, Kent, and Faith, who have done all the hard work to plan this wedding. Thank you for making this a special night for everyone.
While I was preparing tonight's toast, someone in my office told me a funny joke that I really wish I could take credit for, but even if I didn't write it, I have decided to use it…
Father of the bride toasts and raising children have a lot in common, both are a lot more fun to conceive than to deliver!
As the father of the bride, my job is threefold:
- Stand up here, and welcome the assembled friends and family.
- Keep the agenda moving, and
- Offer the bride and groom unsolicited advice.
#1, check. However, because #2 and #3 conflict with each other, and history tells me Faith won’t listen to my advice for at least a year—I’ll try to keep my pontificating to a minimum…
That said, I do have some stories to share, as well as advice for the newlyweds...
When a couple decides to start a family, they have many hopes for their children… Will they have all their fingers and toes…? Will they look like my partner or her parents? Later on, those hopes turn into: Will they ever move out of the house…?
However, chief among those hopes is that she will find a soul mate, a family-oriented person with a dialed-in moral compass and high character and integrity. Faith has found that in Will. To Alan and Vicky, thank you for choosing to raise a son with these qualities.
Life is a series of choices; some are important, and others are trivial. Besides choosing to become a parent and devote your life to another human, there isn’t a more important choice than selecting your life partner.
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| Our Boeke Clan |
No matter how seemingly consequential (at the time), other choices pale by comparison…
For instance, Faith announced to her mother and me (at age 14 or 15) that she didn’t need to go to college and was simply going to go to Hollywood and become an “actor…” Hours and hours of family counseling later, Faith decided college was a better idea. However, she insisted on majoring in Theater… (I hope you can imagine how worried her father was that she’d be able to make a living afterward).
When she graduated last month, she received a Bachelor of Arts in History, with a minor in Geospatial Information Systems… CHOICES…
Every choice, the small and the large, seemingly consequential or the not-so-consequential, add up and lead you to the most important ones… choosing your soul mate isn’t only important, but a reflection of who you are.
I have benefited so from seeing Faith mature and grow into adulthood; her choices have made me a better person. Similarly, Will’s qualities have made Faith a better person, and I believe that Faith’s qualities will also make Will a better person. As a couple, they are more than the sum of their parts and even better still.
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| Saying their vows |
I have seen how Will looks at Faith. He is kind to her, cares for her, and is passionately and deeply in love with her—and there is nothing more important to a father than knowing his child has that kind of love. For that, Will, I can’t help but love you too and welcome you into our family.
Faith once told me she and Will were “saving themselves for marriage.” Surprised, I was silent. She followed with, “We are good kids… would you rather it be any other way?” Well… not really… CHOICES.
Will is polite and respectful. Faith is polite (in public), respectful, and strong-willed. When she was young, she couldn’t be separated from her mom… I was her bottle-fetcher until her mom left town one night. That night, we became closer. Each choice led us here tonight.
Will & Faith, now that you have joined each other to begin a new chapter in your life, I do have some fatherly advice:
- In searching for meaningful purpose in life, don’t seek outside experiences—you will find it at home, where your family will be.
- Continue to communicate with one another.
- Continue to fight life’s battles together.
- Continue to love, and more importantly, grow your love and build your family.
Because nothing of any value or magnitude tops your family.
Now, if everyone will join me in raising your glasses…
To Faith and Will, Lieutenant and Mrs. Witherow… our collective wish is that you remember this day with these people as you build your wonderful life together.
Cheers!
