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| Dad and the Bride |
Good evening. For those of you who haven’t met me yet, I am Joe, the bride’s father. You are each here because you touched Will and/or Faith in a very special way, and I would like to welcome you and thank you for coming.
Not everyone who wanted to be here could make it tonight. Most of my extended family is stuck on the East Coast after testing positive for COVID. So, for those watching, or reading, this after the fact, we miss you, love you, and look forward to a time when we can be with you again. This has certainly been a heck of a couple of years, and although this is my second pandemic wedding, being together still doesn’t feel completely normal…
Preamble aside, if you are enjoying yourself, I’d like you to know that I have had nothing to do with tonight (well, almost nothing). Really, I want to thank and acknowledge Faith’s Mom, Amy, her husband Kent, and Faith, who have done all the hard work to plan this wedding. Thank you for making this a special night for everyone.
While I was preparing tonight's toast, someone in my office told me a funny joke that I really wish I could take credit for, but even if I didn't write it, I have decided to use it…
Father of the bride toasts and raising children have a lot in common, both are a lot more fun to conceive than to deliver!
As the father of the bride, my job is threefold:
- Stand up here, and welcome the assembled friends and family.
- Keep the agenda moving, and
- Offer the bride and groom unsolicited advice.
#1 check, however, because #2 and #3 conflict with each other, and history tells me Faith won’t listen to my advice for at least a year; I’ll try to keep my pontificating to a minimum…
That said, I do have some stories to share, as well as advice for the newlyweds...
When a couple decides to start a family, they have many hopes for their children… Will they have all their fingers and toes…? Will they look like my partner or her parents? Later on, those hopes turn into, will they ever move out of the house…?
However, chief among those hopes is that she will find a soul mate, a family-oriented person with a dialed-in moral compass and high character and integrity. Faith has found that in Will. To Alan and Vicky, thank you for choosing to raise a son with these qualities.Life is a series of choices; some are important, and others are trivial. Besides choosing to become a parent and devote your life to another human, there isn’t a more important choice than selecting your life partner.
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| Our Boeke Clan |
No matter how seemingly consequential (at the time), other choices pale by comparison. For instance, Faith announced to her mother and me (at age 14 or 15) that she didn’t need to go to college and was simply going to go to Hollywood and become an “actor…” Most of you can imagine how consequential her mother and I thought that decision was… hours and hours of family counseling later, Faith decided that college was a better idea. However, Faith insisted that she wanted to major in Theater… (I hope you can imagine how worried her father was that she’d be able to make a living afterward). When she graduated last month, she received a Bachelor of Arts in History, with a minor in Geospatial Information Systems… CHOICES…
Every choice, the small and the large, seemingly consequential or the not-so-consequential, add up and lead you to the most important ones… choosing your soul mate isn’t only important, but a reflection of who you are.
I have so benefited from seeing Faith mature and grow into adulthood; her choices have conspired to make me a better person. Similarly, Will’s qualities have made Faith a better person, and I believe that Faith’s qualities will also make Will a better person. As a couple, they are more than the sum of their parts and even better still.
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| Saying their vows |
When Faith called me and asked if she and Will could spend a week with me before she went to Sweden for her semester abroad last Summer, I said sure. When she asked if her step-sister was going to be home, I said, “I don’t think so, but the guest room has a full-sized bed,” and told her that she and Will could stay there; she told me that they didn’t sleep in the same room… surprised by my shocked silence, she went on to say, “we are good kids and saving ourselves for marriage… would you rather have it any ‘other’ way?” Well, not really, but… CHOICES
Will is very polite and respectful; he is strong in character. Faith is polite (at least in public), is respectful, and can have a bit of a headstrong character...
For the first year of her life, she could not be separated from her mother, literally… My primary role as a parent was to wake up in the middle of the night, bring her into our bedroom and “attach” her to her feeding device (Faith would not take a bottle of any kind…). It wasn’t until her mother was out of town for a night that I became her real parent. Faith cried and cried all night, and it wasn’t until Mom got home that she stopped. However, from that night on, she became a little more of a Daddy’s girl and started allowing me into her world. Head-strong is putting it mildly…, but again those small CHOICES…
Each of them led you here tonight...
Will & Faith, now that you have joined each other to begin a new chapter in your life, I do have some fatherly advice for you:
- In searching for meaningful purpose in life, don’t seek outside experiences, you will find meaningful purpose at home because that is where your family will be.
- Continue to communicate with one and other.
- Continue to fight life’s battles together.
- Continue to love, and more importantly, grow your love and build your family.
Because nothing of any value or magnitude tops your family.
To Faith and Will, Lieutenant and Mrs. Witherow…, our collective wish is that you remember this day with these people as you build your wonderful life together.
Cheers!
